lovely emy

I’ve lost you again and again.

I know that we have not been friends for too long, but I must be honest. It saddens me to see how little self respect you have. To let someone who you seem to be so blindly in love with, break you down to to dust and remind you of your imperfections. Why do you spend your time constantly trying, constantly seeking his attention when he seems to always be looking at someone else? It hurts to see how much self harm you’ve done to yourself in the short time I have known you. It hurts to see how much you have given up on yourself for an ideal image that is not you. 

In my eyes you are beautiful. Take away all the unnecessary cosmetics he prefers. And show him how beautiful you truly are. If he cannot realize that, then you will be forever masking who you truly are for someone who cannot appreciate your true beauty. 

My anxiety gets the best of me sometimes.

Taking a step back can be the greatest difficulty. 

I am left strangling others with my panic.

I need to calm down.

Rest my mind. Calm my soul.

Your words are calming
like the early morning tides.
Your gentle sway brings me back

We are connected
Because no matter where we drift off to
The natural tides will always bring us home

Home is with you.

I feel a sharp pain that is slowly piercing into my chest. 

When I look, there is nothing. Why am I in so much pain? What is going on in my mind that is forcing this pain upon me physically? 

But then you realize it was all in your head.
Over thinking destroys you. 

I find myself searching for you every day, in every encounter, and in every moment. Wherever I go, I am always searching for you.

Let me hold you all through the night.

what you see
a perspective
can you see me?

through the eyes
of many
or see me
through my own eyes

listen to my words
feel my touch
and see me for me

tell me,
it it me you still see?
if it is still me you still want

I will always be yours.

bury all of the doubts,
let go of the worries

remain fluid in nature

hold onto each other
hold me tightly

It is times like these where I take a moment to breathe.

A moment away from my studies, a moment away from my thoughts.
Over my shoulder, I am given a glimpse of the sky through the foggy window.

The ever so blue sky with its fluffy elegant white clouds, Oh how I wish I was there an not here. 

Once you’ve fully given your heart away, it belongs to that one person, and that special person alone.

Take care of my heart that loves you so dearly.

I woke up to the harsh summer rain, and here I lay, drowning in only thoughts of you.

It doesn’t
feel fair
I didn’t mean to make a
mess of things
But when I tried fixing them
I ended up destroying 

Some things
I cannot fix

No matter how hard
I try

I admired you for your modesty. 

But now you have allowed all of the fame and praise to consume you. 

I am not your fan. I am your friend.

I am a prisoner to my very own unwanted thoughts.